Hardly will a day go by without a terrible report of couples killing each other, sometimes killing their children too. In other instances, suicide deaths are the results of a strain in marriages and all these keep happening at an alarming rate. Families we see today, united and beaming with prosperity and bliss can become a house of horror tomorrow.
Sociologists like myself have been digging deep to unravel the causes of this disturbing trend. Oh! It is a society that still defines occurrence by spiritual thoughts and of course, Satan is always the scapegoat. Satan must have been a restless bastard. Even within the metaphysical explanations, people are said to possess the ability to resist this monster or allow him or her (don't even know the gender now) some space to thrive deep within our minds. He doesn't have a house, he's a 'to and fro' mobile demon we're told.
Now, I believe there are more fundamental issues here;
Firstly, when marriages are consummated by unfinished products, that is, individuals who have not worked on their emotions, unable to control their excesses through perseverance and self-control, selfish and violent, at any slightest disagreement or provocation, those natural instincts they don't deal with will later get hold of them and deal with them big time. We are also more conscious of mundane things like beauty, wealth, education and physique that the values of humility, self-control, love, patience etc are ignored.
Our society is becoming much more secular than we can imagine. Did I hear you say "but we have the largest churches and camps where people gather for religious activities?" Church attendance is in fact, a fad. It's a bandwagon effect in Africa. The community life of Christians in the past is being torn apart by a crowd focused, multiple service Christianity lost in doctrines but attractive in its hurried form.
People are lost in the crowd.
Where are the counsellors and the family religious gatherings of the past, where even cases of marital instability are resolved before getting out of hand? How many people go to the altar to consummate weddings today? The courts have taken over. Check the stats.
It is even made worse by a society that is becoming more and more individualistic. Economic opportunities in urban centers make families to be far away from significant others. Of course, today's generation loathe the extended family system. They just want to be on their own and solve their marital issues without family interference they say.
They prefer to suffer in silence rather than speak out against a red flag in the home. They die gradually in their silence until they become dead.
Recently, a 35-year-old man in Ovbiogie Ovia North-East Local Government Area of Edo State, Nigeria shot and killed his wife and two sons over accusations of infidelity and retaliatory threats by the wife. The signs would have been there, but people ignore the danger signs to their own peril.
Marriage is still a beautiful gift, just as our body, doing away with toxic substances makes it healthy. The thought of scrapping the institution of marriage for a liberal, selfish union will be more of a catastrophe than an alternative.
Header Image Credit: sanantonio.us