Have you noticed that with age it becomes more and more difficult to find new friends, and especially to start a relationship? You’re truly lucky if you haven’t. And trust us, if you have, you’re not alone. Most people experience exactly the same thing. It’s a common phenomenon that almost everyone experiences as they approach maturity.
We’d like to explore why it’s so difficult to find new friends and even true love when you’re over thirty. And why sometimes it’s us who throw sand in the wheels. We’d also like to offer advice on how to act if you’re determined to find love, but your attempts turn out to be ineffective over and over again. We promise you’ll learn many useful and interesting things!
Age really matters
In childhood and adolescence, we usually get acquainted very easily and naturally. The circle of friends of the average person expands until about 25 years old, and then begins to gradually decline. Approaching our thirtieth birthdays, we are less and less likely to make not just acquaintances, but even close friends. At the same time we are gradually moving away from our existing friends.
It’s curious that we make the most friends in the first years of high school and in our first jobs. After 25-27, this process slows down. And the smaller your circle of friends, the less likely it is to meet your other half. The problem is that by the age of thirty, a significant proportion of your peers are already married, so the circle in which you search for love narrows every year.
Let's take a look at a few more specific reasons why it becomes harder to find love and make new friends as you age.
1. You don't want to sacrifice your comfort
In childhood and adolescence, you usually don’t have any really serious obligations. You’re more frivolous, and not particularly thinking about comfort and personal space. You are interested in making new acquaintances, spending time in the most unexpected ways and communicating with a variety of sometimes very ambiguous people. Moreover, in youth, not everyone clearly understands what actually brings them pleasure, and what just causes discomfort.
At a more mature age, you have less time and more responsibility. You are no longer ready to sacrifice your own comfort for the sake of virtual strangers. Sometimes there’s not even time to spend with your nearest and dearest. And many really don’t want to expand their circle of friends and take up even more of their already scarce time. Why make sacrifices for someone you don’t know, right?
2. You have fewer and fewer reasons for acquaintances
In childhood and adolescence, there are a lot of foundations for new acquaintances: school, university, a variety of groups and courses, theme evenings, sports clubs, discos, nightclubs and much more. By your thirtieth birthday, your day is increasingly going according to the “home-work-home” schedule. Your number of colleagues and neighbors is limited, and few of them have what it takes to become your good friend or soulmate. It’s extremely difficult to move beyond this vicious circle.
It is also worth mentioning the Covid-19 coronavirus situation, due to which social ties for billions of people have been severely disrupted. Even despite the fact that today there are effective vaccines, and the peak of the pandemic is behind us, a significant number of people are in no hurry to once again communicate with anyone offline and make new acquaintances. Again, we are talking primarily about people of a more mature age, for whom Covid-19 is potentially more dangerous than for young people.
3. Bad experiences in previous relationships
As a rule, by the age of thirty a person already has several romantic relationships behind them. And quite often these are not the best experiences, often rough breakups, ending with anger and betrayal. Sometimes the trauma from a previous relationship is so severe that it takes years or even decades for a person to recover. And in some cases, you even need the help of a qualified psychologist to help you get out of a protracted depression and open up to people again.
The difficulty is also that the psychological problems and behaviors caused by unsuccessful previous experiences in relationships only get worse over time. A person becomes more and more isolated, less and less often lets their relatives and friends close to them, and practically stops making new acquaintances, unless this is a necessary measure and there is no other way. This stage must be overcome, which is why sometimes it is so important to work with a specialist.
How to meet new people and find your love if you are 30+
Obviously, the more youthful options simply do not suit you. It is unlikely that something good will come out of an attempt to meet in a nightclub or on the street. On the contrary: your eagerness to make acquaintances will be perceived negatively. Therefore, let's try to find the optimal dating format, taking into account all of the above.
So what do we have?
- Constant lack of time.
- Unwillingness to sacrifice own comfort.
- Difficulty of finding a match due to the fact that many friends are already in a relationship.
- Lack of opportunities and life events for dating.
- Asocial behavior and indecision due to unsuccessful previous relationship experience.
These issues can really complicate life a lot. And the older you get, the harder it gets. Therefore, our first recommendation is not to wait for everything to resolve itself. If you want results, act! Otherwise, you will not have time to look back, and you’ll find yourself already over forty or even over fifty, and still lonely.
Here you’ll have a logical question: “Where to date?”
The first things that come to mind are dating sites and apps. But there is a nuance here. A significant part of the audience here is very youthful. Active, sociable, creative, but rarely set for a serious relationship. It is very difficult for a person over thirty to make a promising match here. So we need an alternative!
We believe that the best replacement for classic dating services is random chat (or video chat). That is, a platform that connects you with a random other user.
The benefits of video chats for users over thirty are obvious:
- Convenient and fast communication: you do not spend a lot of time on registration, filling out a profile, endless swipes and viewing other users' accounts. Literally one click, and now you are already communicating with a new acquaintance.
- Interesting acquaintances without having to leave your comfort zone. Random chat allows you to meet and communicate from anywhere.
- The ability to quickly find other lonely people. A significant proportion of video chat users are on their own, just like you. They also dream about relationships.
- Random connection to someone is already a great opportunity to get acquainted and get to know each other better.
- Communication in random chat helps you overcome indecision and asociality, feel more free and realize that you are not alone in this world.
Let's look at a few popular video chats that you should pay attention to:
- Chatroulette — the first random video chat in history, which has been around since the fall of 2009. Despite mediocre moderation, the site has an active audience of all ages.
- Omegle — another popular random chat, one of the first ones. By the way, Omegle tripled its audience during the pandemic. And this despite mediocre moderation and limited functionality.
- CooMeet — a great site like Omegle with a very effective gender filter. One of the best options if you are interested in dating the opposite gender for a serious relationship.
- Tinychat — not exactly a classic random chat, but rather a streaming service where you can watch or broadcast video to a large audience.
- Chatspin — a convenient alternative to Omegle with a more modern design and extensive functionality. Interesting features include AI-masks for additional privacy.
Finally, we want to say that age is not really a hindrance to interesting new acquaintances. All limitations are only in your head. Sometimes it’s enough to take one small step to radically change your life and turn over a new page for your future. For many, life after thirty is just a beginning. And it's definitely not the age to put an end to your personal life!