The connection between parents and their children is very delicate. This is why there are often a lot of failures relating to children development.
The erratic behaviors of many children and young adults in society today are as a result of the failures on the part of their parents.
It is, however, fair to admit that many parents build up their children in the wrong ways unknowingly because they are often so uninformed on the right things to do and say at certain times and when faced with certain complex situations.
It is not about being an education; it is more about knowing the right things about parenting and how to handle parent-child relationships. Many parents over-do it, while some others do not just do enough.
It is for the purpose of bridging this gap that many parents and intending parents often seek the advice of psychologists and psychotherapists in a bid to become good parents to their children.
Psychotherapist Amy Morin has built a career on identifying the characteristics that mentally strong people share and after writing not one, but three books on the subject, it's fair to say she's somewhat of an expert.
The Standard shared a post by Amy Morin on Instagram where she revealed the five things ‘African’ parents should stop telling their children if they want them to grow up to be resilient.
"The words you use make a big difference. If you're not careful, you might send a message that instills unhealthy habits that could drain kids of mental strength they need to reach their greatest potential," she said.These are the 5 Phrases African Parents need to STOP telling their Children:
The first phrase she recommends you stop saying is 'It's no big deal'.
Whether your little one is worried about performing in a school play or has fallen out with one of their closest pals, you shouldn't brush off their concerns, no matter how inconsequential they may seem.
Instead, accept that they think it is a big deal and help them cope with their emotions.
The second thing she advises is never to tell your child to 'stop crying'.
According to Morin, there's nothing wrong with crying as it's a healthy way to show someone how you feel.
If your kid is causing a scene in the supermarket or while out for dinner, simply explain to them that their behavior isn't ok - but let them know that their emotions are.
As well as this, you shouldn't be telling children they are the smartest kid in the whole school as "exaggerated praise can do more harm than good".
The final two phrases to avoid are 'everything will work out fine' and 'calm down'.
Morin explains that while you may want to reassure your child that things are ok, sometimes things aren't alright and people have to deal with hard times - you won't always be able to prevent your child from experiencing this.
"Instead of telling them that nothing bad will happen, teach them that they're strong enough to deal with whatever life throws their way," she said.
And like with telling a child to stop crying, telling them to calm down may not be the best idea.
If your child is upset or angry, help them to learn how to "de-escalate" themselves, perhaps by taking several deep breaths or going for a walk.
The expert added: "If you catch yourself using these types of phrases, shift your parenting strategies."
What are your thoughts?
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